If you tend to think that people share too much on blogs, then this post is probably not for you. But hopefully these thoughts will help someone else that may be struggling and give me a chance to let friends and family know of a new normal in our house.
For the past three years I have had some medical issues that have come and gone and been very frustrating to pin down. My symptoms began during Chad's first deployment. I was exhausted in a way I never had been before and my blood sugar was a mess - dropping as low as 32. For the next 9 months I went from doctor to doctor, ruling out Lupus, RA, diabetes, thyroid problems, etc... The day I went to a Neurologist to begin testing for MS I found out I was pregnant with Mya. Strangely enough, pretty soon all the symptoms went away. I had no real problems until the beginning of this year.
I first noticed feeling tired and having blood sugar swings again, followed up by some stomach issues in April. From March 2011-April 2012 I ran 6 5k races, 2 indoor triathlons, 1 sprint triathlon, and biked a 10k race. However, in May when I started running after our move, I couldn't settle into a groove. When I ran another 5k in May, I knew something was going on, because the entire race I felt like I had sandbags on my feet. I wen to the doctor to start tests again. Once again, all the tests were coming back normal - thyroid, iron, B12, celiac's. There are very things as frustrating as knowing something is wrong in your body and yet the doctors tell you everything they can test is normal.
I've worn out the Web MD symptom check and googled more than I like to admit. Back in 2008, my mom had given me a book on Adrenal Fatigue, written by a Chiropractor. Reading the book was like looking in a mirror. So I pulled the book back out and was again so excited that I could possibly seeing what is going on in my body. The problem - Adrenal Fatigue is not a recognized condition by the medical community. For example, if you measured adrenal levels on a scale of 1-10, the medical community only recognizes if you score a 10 (Cushings disease) or a 1 (Addison's disease). Hormones, like Cortisol, are also a very tricky thing to test to get a clear picture of what is going on b/c a blood sample is a small snapshot of a larger picture.
Similar to thyroid problems, if adrenal levels are off it can begin to cause a host of problems.
So what to do? Chad and I decided it was worth the money to go to Natropathy doctor to see if they could give some answers. Sure enough, the diagnosis - Adrenal Fatigue. So what is Adrenal Fatigue? Basically it when your adrenal gland gets overworked and loses its ability to relax. Here's the best example I can give. Your adrenal controls a ton in your body, but one thing is your fight or flight mode. If you put it on a scale it could look like this:
Level 1 - normal adrenal levels for everyday life
Level 2 - exciting day, busy morning trying to get out the door
Level 3 - normal adrenal "high" - running a race, minor car accident, missing a flight
Level 4 - actual life threatening moment
Because of stress, lifestyle and other factors, for some people the adrenal gland gets tired. When it gets tired, it is forced to go into overdrive. So instead of staying in Level 1 most of the day, it revs up to Level 2 to try and keep up with demand. Eventually it starts to wear on other organs and systems in your body. Digestive issues creep up when your body is trying to process food too fast because the cells aren't getting what they need due to the low adrenal levels.
So there is a quick and unscientific idea of what is going on inside. So how do you fix it? I wish it were easy and there was a one step process, but there is not. I basically have to rest and refuel in order to rebuild my body. I have so much to learn about what that looks like, but this is how we are going to start.
Rest - In today's society this is not as easy as it sounds. The "normal" for moms and women my age is to be extremely busy - running, exercise, crossfit, kids activities, cooking, clean house, work, volunteering, homeschooling, sewing, pintrest projects, etc... The new normal in my life is going to have to be a slower pace than I've ever had before. We are going to stay home more and commit to things outside our house less. Thankfully right after a move is when I have the least amount of commitments, so it will just be a matter of maintaining saying "no" to volunteer opportunities right now.
Homeschooling Addison is a of upmost importance to me, so that will be where my focus is for now. I know there will be other times in the future that I will be able to volunteer and give back to others, but now is not the time. Also, NO exercise, at least for a few months. This is a tough pill for me to swallow. I have so many friends that running, crossfit and working out is not just a part of life, it is a passion. Stepping back makes me feel lazy, but my body cannot handle the stress of working out while it rebuilds. I am going to start doing Yoga for at least something low impact. Because of the pattern of cortisol in your body, one piece of resting includes going to bed before 10 and trying to sleep until 9. As a mom that is just not possible most days, but I can definitely make an attempt to go to bed earlier...at least after the Olympic. ;)
Refuel - This is the biggest piece of rebuilding my body. If you know me, you would probably say I was healthy eater, but what I'm being asked to do is taking it way beyond my standards of healthy. This part has been a huge mental struggle for me...
I have always had a passion for food - I love to cook, love to read recipes and love to eat. I can out eat most people my size and love to cook for people and entertain. While I have always tried to eat healthy, after my mom was diagnosed with diabetes last fall, my eating changed. I made a conscience effort to limit my intake of sugar, pasta, bread and potatoes. Diabetes has taken a forefront in my mind, to an unhealthy degree I'm afraid. Food has gone from being a joy, to being a chore and source of fear and guilt. The more I learn about food, the more I struggle to relax and just eat. I tell Chad its like ringing bells in my head. When unhealthy food options are presents bells go off in my head and struggle to quiet them. Chad and I have spent a lot of time in prayer and discussing what it means to be healthy for our family and how we can balancing being healthy with food and being in a healthy and happy mental state.
Knowing my current mental battles with food already, this is what the doctor wants my diet to look like during this recovery process:
- My plate needs to be 45% protein, 40% vegetables and 15% fat. The fast amount of information given by medical professionals on nutrition, does not line up with natural doctors and nutritionist, so it can be confusing who to believe. The natural doctor spent a great amount of time talking to me about the importance of saturated fat to brian and cell function.
- All produce is supposed to be organic.
- All meat organic, grass fed. All sources of protein, except chicken, need to be as close to raw as possible, including red meat and eggs.
- All dairy (cheese, milk, yogurt) is to be raw, whole milk, and preferably bought directly at a farm.
- The only fruit I'm allowed to eat are coconut, berries, pineapple and papaya (the last 2 only to aid in digestion). Fruit also cannot be eaten with other foods, only as a snack.
- No carbs except a small amount of sprouted bread, quinoa or wild rice.
- No sugar, except raw honey or stevia.
-Deli meat can only be Apple Gate Farms brand
-Only raw nuts (no peanuts) and dry beans - that means no peanut butter. Even my natural peanut butter. This is huge blow....
-Only water to drink - the ONE thing that I have no problem with!
This diet along with a load of supplements, is supposed to build my body back to a healthy state. I have no doubt that everything I just listed are fantastic things for anyone's diet...except maybe the raw milk. That just sounds gross to me, but I don't like milk anyway.... The amount of money, time and effort would be very high to maintain this kind of diet. American society also makes it very hard - you can forget eating out and shopping at a regular grocery store.
After spending a lot of time in prayer about my attitude, I am hoping to get my information together, make some menus and start shopping in order to try to go on this diet for the 4 weeks my doctor wants me to. Whether I have to continue longer will depend on how my body is responding. There will be some changes that will probably be forever though.
The biggest struggle has been seeing my need for change. I think I eat healthy according to most American standards, and putting an unattainable goal in front of me is extremely frustrating. Lately I have just wanted to throw in the towel - buy sugary cereal, frozen dinner and make as many yummy desserts as I want. I have this overwhelming desire to be NORMAL...whatever that mean. The mental shift that I have had to realize is that my body is not just tired, it is sick. My doctor said I need to think of myself as having the flu - needing to be nursed back to health. You wouldn't run a 5k or eat pizza when you have the flu.
In an age of entitlement, when everyone feels like they have the right to everything, I have fallen into the trap of feeling like I deserve to eat whatever I want. I am thin, I workout, I look down a snobby nose at McDonalds and I watch what I eat. I shouldn't need to do anymore than that. I find myself however getting angry at people in the grocery store. I see the JUNK that fills their cart and wonder why it can be so easy for them. Why do I have to think so much about food? Why can't it be easy? Why do I have to spend so much time driving to special grocery stores and spending so much money and time on what goes in my body? I know however, that Scripture is very clear that life isn't fair. We are not promised an easy road and the bumps along the way should drive us closer to the Lord, not into despair of body and mind. I have no rights as Christian. I have been bought with a price and other than an eternity in Hell is the Lord's grace in my life. On the other end of that, we know these bodies are temporal and food is not the end all be all to life.
So that's where we are in this journey. I am praying for the Lord's grace and patience during this process. I know that it is worth a few months of discomfort if it means a healthy future. I would ask for your prayers and understanding. I can't run or race right now. I can't go out to eat or come to your house for dinner. I can't run around and chase my kids at the park or at the pool. I cannot go anywhere near pintrest because the food I can't eat is not something I want to stare at! I can however, learn about new foods and know that I am giving my family a solid nutritional education. I will have more time to read to my girls, play games and watch them grow. I will read more and be remind of what it is to be still.
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