Strength

Blogs are interesting.  Some share decorating ideas, some political philosophy, some day to day happenings and many more pictures of family and friends.  We keep everyone updated on the fun events and happy occasions of our everyday lives.  While some people take it a bit to far, I think most of us are not always so quick to share those not so happy moments though...  The moments that we fail completely as a parent.  The moments that we are to busy to stop and help.  The moments we sit in silence and wonder why.  The moments when life is just flat out hard. 


In a few weeks I will watch my husband go off to war.  
In a few weeks I will have to help a little 3 year old mind grasp how long a year is and how far away daddy will be.  
I just found out this morning that my aunt passed away.  
Next week the list of names I know on headstones at Arlington will get a little bit longer. 
I ache for my friends whose husbands won't be coming home.


I often hear this, "I don't know how you do it. I could never deal with my husband being gone."  I think that is really the reason I wanted to write this post. To answer that question - how do I deal with it. ...and hopefully this post will be a comfort to me on the tough days as well!  I think about that questions a lot...even more when a deployment day is coming up soon...and my answer is always the same.  I am not sure how some wives cope or how some people handle the worry, but for me my answer is sure.  It is my only Hope.   


"I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust." Ps. 91:2  My answer is - I trust the Lord.   While that might be the "church answer," it is what I cling to.  When Chad is deployed and my doorbell rings unexpectedly, I trust in the Lord.  When I think about what I would do with two little girls on my own, I trust in the Lord.  When get tired of my phone ringing and bad news being on the other end, I trust in the Lord.  


I don't trust that the Lord will never have pain or sadness come my way, I trust that in the midst of it, He is in control.  I don't trust that I will understand why four precious little children have to grow up without their daddy, but I trust that the Lord will walk beside them every step of the way.  I don't trust that my husband will never face danger, but I trust that he is safely in the Lord's hands.  I trust that no matter what comes my way, He will never leave me or forsake me.  

When the phone doesn't ring for a while or I see a bad report on the news, this is my verse:

 "Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer. 

  From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint;

         Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

    For You have been a refuge for me,

         A tower of strength against the enemy. 

    Let me dwell in Your tent forever;

         Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings." 

Ps. 61:1-4

I am so thankful there is something higher than myself that I can cling to.  If I had to put Chad on a plane without that hope, there is no way I could do it.  If I had to trust chance that his helicopter wouldn't crash or trust the odds that a bullet wouldn't come his way, I would fall under my own strength and I melt into a puddle of worry.  I know that the same God that protects him in the midst of war is the same God that protects his car as he drives to work.  It is the same God who numbers our days...whether we are soldiers, teachers, moms or business men.  Things like deployments , death, sickness and heartache bring us to that place where the rubber meets the road.  That is where we find out if what we have placed our hope in is worthy of our trust.  For me, some days are long, some days the worry comes, but that is when I am most reminded of the rest I can find in the shelter of His wings. 

One of my favorite songs sums it up well.  If you don't know it, you should go to YouTube and listen to it....  It helps me to remember that the Lord isn't tired.  He doesn't have bad days.  He is always in control and He is always there to lift me up.


Everlasting God  - Chris Tomlin


Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles